thanks to all contributors............

From: Don.Bet.Cook..........

Lyzzi...............

I know! I KNOW! Only those who were young in the 80s will get this. hey! I was young at heart!! LOL Plus, I have 2 daughters who were into this stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlitbJKaYy0

Nick Rienstra................

The largest vacuum chamber in the world. Very interesting!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E43-CfukEgs

Don.Bet.Cook..........

PLEASE WATCH, THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE......... (probably mine, so please watch it all.............brewwwww)

This is the best demonstration and explanation I have seen. It is done by the doctors who invented the procedure at the University of Arizona Sarver Heart Center.

THIS IS FOR EVERYBODY!!!

I want all my friends and family to watch this - in case I need you. I've watched it - in case you need me. Please watch - and then share. This short video illustrates the best demonstration and gives the simplest explanation of exactly what to do if someone near you collapses and is presumably having a heart attack. You could very well save the life of a friend or loved one. Someone you share this video with might save your life!

http://heart.arizona.edu/cpr-video

Heather Van Doran...................

8 things you should never feed to dogs and cats

Ralph Smith................

ISIS Soon To Be Non-Existent

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite

fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).

These boys will be dropped off in Iraq, and have been given only the following

facts about ISIS:

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, bacon, BBQ, pickups, nude women, country music...or Jesus.

AND

5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in IRAQ to be over by Friday.

*********************************************************

REPOST

CALLING IN SICK

A guy working in Des Moines phoned in sick to work ( the first day of deer

season) - - - he said he 'hit his thumb with a hammer, and it's all swollen.'

The employer was very skeptical about the excuse, so he asked him to take a picture with his smart phone, email it in, and all would be fine if it was really swollen.

So the guy followed instructions of the boss and

took a pic.

Here's the picture.

Have a wonderful day,

and always make sure you can

back up your story!!!

**********************************************************

Grossly, Horribly, Disgustingly Inappropriate Jokes

Only Men Would Appreciates

some gems here, boys..................brewwwww    ;o)

A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed. The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes, then the guy says, "I can't believe they fucked my wife after only five beers!"

~ ~ ~

Got this text from my brother recently. It read. "Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol' lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick. For what it's worth, it reaches all the way to the back of her sister's throat!"

~ ~ ~

I was banging this nice lady on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the back door!" Thinking back, I really should have run, but you don't get offers like that every day.

~ ~ ~

Sorry for not calling you on New Years, but I just got out of jail. I was locked up for punching the fuck out of this idiot at a party. In my defense, when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.

~ ~ ~

My wife just came in and said, "I don't know if I am coming or going. "I said to her, 'Judging by the look on your face, you're going, 'cus when you're coming you look like a fucking Down Syndrome Kid trying to whistle!"

~ ~ ~

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I fucked a girl named Penny. Is that spooky or what?

~ ~ ~

The missus asked me, "When you're on a boys only trip, do you think about me?" Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.

~ ~ ~

Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor orphans.
I said, "Fuck that! Knowing my luck, I'd win one!"

~ ~ ~

What's the difference between an illegal immigrant and ET?

ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn't claim benefits, had his own fucking bike, and wanted to go home!

~ ~ ~

I went to the doctor's office the other day and found out that my new doctor is young, female and drop dead gorgeous. I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional, I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll check it out. I said, "My wife thinks that my dick tastes funny."

~ ~ ~

I was pretty excited when my new girlfriend sent me a text message claiming that she loves anal. Then I realized that she is a dyslexic bitch and that she was trying to say she loves Alan, my best friend.

~ ~ ~

A guy is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, "No! No! Don't enter that church, you damn fool."
His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"
Husband replies, "Our wedding video."

~ ~ ~

I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper."
"Don't be silly," she said. "Here, use my iPad."
That fuckin' spider never knew what hit it.

~ ~ ~

I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform, but she says she doesn't like it. She says that it makes her sleepy and her ass sore.

*******************************************************

ole brewwwww says, 'Sheck eeeeet out!!!!'

This is an fascinating set of photos - the REAL thing - pix from Tinian Island as the B-29 "Enola Gay" was being loaded.
Today it takes about 100 times the number of people and TONS of paperwork to accomplish the same end.
Notice the "Top Secret" stamp on some of the photos. In the last few pix notice the CRUDE sheet metal work on the casing
and fins of "Little Boy" - the bomb that was dropped on Hiroshima.
Gives a little look into the other side of the engineering on the first atomic bombs,the mechanical and logistical work that it took
to handle, store, transport, and load them.
http://www.alternatewars.com/Bomb_Loading/Bomb_Guide.htm

**************************************************************

A husband went to police station to report his missing wife .

Husband : I've lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home.

Sergeant : What is her height?

Husband : Oh, 5 something .

. .

Sergeant : Build?

Husband : Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant : Color of eyes?

Husband : Never noticed.

Sergeant : Color of hair?

Husband : Changes according to season.

Sergeant : What was she wearing?

Husband : Dress/suit/blue jeans -- I don't remember exactly.

Sergeant : Did she go in a car?

Husband : yes.

Sergeant : What kind of car was it?

Husband :

2015 Corvette Stingray 3LT with the Z51 Performance Package,

shark gray metallic paint, with the

6.2 litre V8 engine with Direct Injection generating

460 HP 8-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission,

and GT bucket seats,

and has a very thin scratch on the front left …..

(at this point the husband started crying ) .

Sergeant : Don't worry sir ….. we'll find your car

Kathleen...............

Oldie but Goodie

One of the all-time best explanations for the difference between men and women!

Women always knew this. We just couldn't explain it!

Click on the nothing box below. Make sure you have the volume turned up.

The nothing box.

*****************************************************************

Only the Irish have Jokes Like These

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.
But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda.... No. In fact, he got out three times to pee."

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, "He said, for God's sake,Mary, put down that damn gun...'

ANDTHE BEST FOR LAST
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get the drunk's attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"

*******************************************************************

FROM THE MOUTHS OF KIDS!

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

(written by kids)

-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

2.WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

3.HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

4.WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

5.WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure!)
-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

6.WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8

7.IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you, child!)

8.HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the Number 1 Favourite is........

9.HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.-- Ricky, age 10

***********************************************************

Snopes founder talks about the weirdest true story site has verified

November 10, 2014

Snopes has debunked some crazy rumors; it's also revealed that some strange stories are true.

For two decades, Snopes.com has acted as a voice of reason on the Internet, making a name for itself by debunking rumors as they circulate. Founder David Mikkelson was involved in an online newsgroup that focused on urban legends; when graphical web browsers hit the scene, he started the site.

"Since I was an early adopter, it quickly became the place where everybody sent every questionable thing they saw on the Internet," he says. "It became more of a reference and fact-checking site than just an urban-legends site." There are no big secrets as to how the site determines what's real and what's fake, Mikkelson says: His team just uses standard research methods.

Sometimes it's easy: If a rumor says Congress is making it legal to run frogs over, you just read the bill in question to learn it's not true.

Other times, it's a matter of sending out a few emails and making some calls. As for the weirdest true story he's come across (and be warned, it's graphic): Yes, a guy really did injure himself on heavy machinery and staple himself back together with an industrial stapler.

It happened, the site says, after "a maintenance man had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt." He lost a testicle in the process, but stapled his scrotum back together and didn't see a doctor for three days. He was stupid but damn tough.

K - Squared............

What Movies Have Taught Us

1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off.

2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincing accent will do.

3) All apartments in Paris overlook the Eiffel tower.

4) Most lap top computers are powerful enough to override a bank security system or the communication system of an invading alien civilization.

5) Every single person in martial arts Film has a black belt in karate.

6) When staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

7) 1 man shooting at 20 men has more chance of hitting them than 20 men shooting at 1 man if he is the hero.

8) During a police investigation it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once.

9) Large studio-type apartments in big cities are affordable by single people with a low wage.

10) The entire British population lives in London.

11) It doesn't matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight; your enemies will attack you one at a time while the others dance around you menacingly.

12) In musicals everyone you meet in the street will know all the words to the songs and the steps to the dances.

13) When captured by an evil international terrorist, guns are not necessary to defeat them, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.

WARNING!!! SOME PICTURES MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME VIEWERS!!!

download

24 Kasım 2014 Pazartesi

( Anything_Gang G) brewwwww's Bits & Pieces for 11/24/2014 PART II

Snopes founder talks about the weirdest true story site has verified

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